Sunday, March 23, 2014

Not Wishing Away Time & Premarital Counseling

As of last Friday, we are 3 months away. Three months. 90 days. 12 weeks. Holy freakin' Moly that's soon.  When I had lunch with my sister today, I was telling her how much I was just ready for it to be here but at the same time, I don't want to wish away time because time is precious and I want to savor every moment of these last three months, the wedding day itself, and our honeymoon.

 I was reminded of just how precious time is late last night, when my aunt passed away after a very long/hard battle with cancer.  She was so incredibly strong and taken away from us way too soon.  I try really hard not to take things or the people in my life for granted but when something like this happens, you are immediately reminded about just how precious life is.  Hug your loved ones a little tighter and don't let a day go by without telling those that you love, that you love them.

And now onto premarital counseling...this is something that was required by our church.  A seminar from 9-4 on a Saturday.  Sounds like a snooze fest right!? WRONG.  I definitely thought it was going to be a long day and that I was going to be really irritated by the end of it but it turned out to actually be quite fun.  We did a lot of exercises that required team work, sharing our feelings, getting to know more about each other, etc.  It was put on by a family/marriage counselor and the pastor that is going to be marrying us.  I was so excited to meet him and we'll have an individual session with him in May.  I thought I'd end this with some perils of wisdom that I took away from yesterday's seminar.  I think these things can apply to any relationship [engaged, married, friendship, anything].  

1.Tell people what you appreciate about them and cite specific examples of why.
2. It's ok to take a time out during conflict to cool down, in fact it's recommended.
3.When someone is unloading about an external factor (usually work), LISTEN. Agree. Be supportive.  You don't necessarily need to give advice unless the other person asks for it.  
4. Relationships are not about keeping score and we all have an emotional bank account.  You can add to said bank account by doing things together.  I have a whole list of ideas if you need some! ;)
5. The Love Maps Questions Game is really fun and you should download the app.  You might actually learn a little bit more about one another even if you think you know everything.  Jeremy wanted me to add in for number five that he knows more about me than I know about him (by 3 measly points). 
6. There are scientifically researched steps that you should take after a fight to get things resolved. 
7. Conflict is most likely to end the way it begins, so be mindful of how you approach things.
8. If Jeremy and I get caught on desert island and we can only pick 10 things from a list, he is going to pick as many things that will help us get off the island and I am going to pick things that will help us survive on the island. ;)

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